topics of some frustration.more or less.but i aint complaing. much.

Assalamu aleikum

Cultural differences






Here are some issues I really DON’T want to talk about. But since I’m brappy like that I will anyway. Big weddings are a joke. Around the world people are spending thousands and thousands of bugs/euros/quids/insert own currency on an event where a)everyone mostly feels dead uncomfortable and b) something ALWAYS goes wrong. But the biggest joke is; the wedding only lasts for ONE day! (ok ok, with the exception of certain cultures) So why invest a huge amoung of dough into something that a) no one else is going to remember except for you and your husband (and your credit card company). Your memories are not going to be very happy since all you remember is money that went totally down the drain. b) is not really the point? The thing is, it’s not the walima that matters, it’s the next 30/40 odd years that are gonna sting a bit. I once saw this American couple on tv (back in the day when I still wasted my time in watching the brainmelter) saying that ” we had the choice of either having a huge wedding or buying a house, we decided to go for the wedding, because it’s a special  day for us.” (or either, this is what the wife said. The husband, for one reason or another didn’t look at all so happy with the decision.)  

Money Down the Drainthe way, as we are muslims, there is no sense in flushing our money down the drain; if you want a big wedding, why not have it in the masjid? They’re usually inexpensive (even free) and there’ s a lot more baraqa there than in any hilton out there. Also, as Baba Ali said in one of his vblogs; just think of the ajr you’ll get for bringing the people to pray jamaat in the masjid!  

 Inlaws, those nature’s little wonders that are so easily obtained thru marriage and so painfully endured for the rest of ones life, are God’s way of reminding you that although you can indeed (to an extent) choose your friends, you really can’t choose your relatives. Unless you do like my sister, who only picks out guys who have totally cool families, unfortunately, she has found, some of those guys have not been so cool at all (yes she’s a non-muslim, till now, duas are requested on her behalf). The other extreme is of course a situation where you marry your heart’s beloved and end up sharing the house with the most horrible group of people you’ve ever met in your life; and you can’t even tell them to piss off since it’s actually THEIR house, they’re actually taking care of YOUR children and your husband would never have it any other way since- “ mummy always comes first.”  

Inlaws Different

When the situation gets too much you can, nevertheless, breathe easy since at least you still have your home to go back to. Unless… You have urban non-muslim parents who think you should, by now, be able to handle your own life and anyway your situation is YOUR fault since YOUR the one who became a muslim and married that abuhassanahlanwasahlanwhatshisname. Of course this does not necessarily mean they’re abandonning you, it is true that kids these days are clinging on their folks for way longer than they should ( Meaning their parents pay for their living even though they’re living out of home. Often they’re not given due respect nor shown due graditude. Instead they are demanded to understand every single stupid mishap of their children as being  “a youthful experiment)

So in fact i say :

power to the parents

    Abuhassanahlanwasahlanwhatshisnames usually have an annoying tendency to stick about even when they’re no longer needed. So in the best case you have to a) move out yourself or b) move them out. Either way it’s a drag. Of course you can always burn all the stuff, knock AHAWSWHN (Abuhassanahlanwasahlanwhatshisname’s abberviation) unconcious and put the matches in his hand and run away real quick.  


Of course this all comes down to the blogger’s cow inna ditch ( a great translation of a Finnish proverb). Fph (huture prospective husband) kindly informed her that there are about 200 people coming to her walima. Her inlaws are absolutely great and her parents rock the moving  is a bit of a bummer but mostly beacause the blogger has noticed how much useless stuff useless ppl store in their useless homes. is a bit of a bummer but mostly beacause the blogger has noticed how much useless stuff useless ppl store in their useless homes.  

hirsimökkiam i the only one to whom this actually seems like a really good idea?